the patron saint of mediocrity (brightbrowneyes) wrote,
the patron saint of mediocrity

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I'm still here! Three hundred and sixty four days after the last post!

And what I mean by "here," is that I'm still breathing.

So, the last year. I felt stuck and unsure about what direction I should go in. You know how people say that if you don't take control of your life, others will do it for you? That kind of happened to me. I still don't even know what the fuck is really going on.

Let's see. Nothing really happened all summer and fall. I spent my 26th birthday in Malibu with my family. It wasn't as cool as drinking a bottle of wine on Waiheke Island in New Zealand for my 25th, but it was fine.

A week after that, I got a tattoo. It is not very good. That pretty much ruined my year. I think I went out and got it because I felt like nothing was happening and I wanted to take a chance on something. Note: do not take a chance on tattoos. That shit does not come out.

So I was devastated for a while. My arm looked (still looks) like shit. I cried about it almost every day for a few months until Richard told me that somebody like me shouldn't give a crap about an ugly tattoo. I've been though enough cool stuff in my life and that's just another one of those things. And he was right. I'm okay with it now. I'll get it covered up. Eventually. But I kind of like it - it reminds me of what happens when I throw caution to the wind.

My brother got engaged. He also got married. In one whole year! I have a sister-in-law now! No nieces or nephews yet. Hopefully not soon.

I also got a really big promotion at work. I feel the same way I did when I got that tattoo. Luckily, this is definitely not permanent. I delved back in to my livejournal looking for any signs of passion or interest in something so I can pursue that.

Turns out, I've always just been in that stage of "what am I gonna do?" Maybe, just maybe, I should just say, "Hey, I'm doing this now." Happy or unhappy. I mean, "gonna" indicates there's a definite future, but I might be dead later today. Who knows?

I don't anticipate anything else interesting happening this year. I have an apartment again so I can't really afford to go anywhere. Maybe I'll suck at my job so hard, I'll get fired and then have to do some desperate shit. It could happen, you know. I'm not worrying about it.
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